My breastfeeding journey – after having 2 children !!!

Amaran : Entri yg panjang!!!

I think most of mom bloggers will share their breastfeeding journey. Some successful to bf till 2 years, some not managed to bf due to several reasons

For myself, I think I never wrote any specific entry on my bf journey. It is not that I am not willing to share, but the main reason was

I FAILED TO BREASTFEED AFHAM 

*matila sume caps lock tuh* 

but with Alif I have a problem to wean off *ok he already 2y6m*

Let’s me share my personal experience, perhaps a little bit sharing for a new mum to be and also those failed to bf with first child.

When I found out that I am pregnant with Afham, I think I am a little bit clueless on mother world. The only things that I remembered when my ex-colleagues shared how the pain of deliver a baby *scary ke hape..tapi rasa takut*

So while learning a little bit here and there, I found out that in Islam it is recommend to bf till 2y.

With some pregnancy hormones and here and there, I think I only actively looking for info on bf around 5 months pregnant. All the bf info from susuibu.com, blogs and such. The only book I bought was  “Panduan Penyusuan Susu Ibu Bagi Ibu Bekerjaya”

I took an initiative to attend a bf class, which some of the info from the class posted here

Then the delivery day came, since there is some health issue, I only manage to hold Afham for few minutes and right after that he was send to NICU. I missed the earliest part which is the most important part “Bf right after the delivery”

Afham was in NICU for several days, and whenever I came to visit him, I will try to bf him. But I had to admit that I was scared to hold a baby (so of course la mcm dhle kekok nk pegang budak, nk bf lagik. NICU staff not really help much, plus the mothers that allowed to stay in the NICU was full). But I managed to pump and feed him my colostrum.

Colustrum

When both of us came back to our house, I tried to direct feeding him. But seem it was a pretty tough, I didn’t managed to direct feed him.

I still pump and feed him through cup *no bottle okeh*. I learnt Marmet technique during stay at hospital.

I bought a manual pump I found out that I just prefer Marmet technique (this is really useful despite I failed to bf with first one..sbbnya time2 pump susu tuk Alif kat opis ada incident tertinggal parts and so on..so learning Marmet is a must!)

I still remembered how I push myself to pump a milk until one day I started feel seram2 sejuk demam *rasa lain mcm pun ada okeh, cam nk bentan meroyan kot*. I have a fever for a day *perhaps struggling with not enough sleep and a little bit depressed*.

Once recover from fever, I still try to feed him directly *again all failed*, pump my milk, and topup with FM. Not to mentioned that we have to visit hospital and clinics for few times due to Afham had jaundice and UTI (during confinement). Dan terpaksa jugak introduce pakai botol sbbnya only myself je yakin nk feed pakai cup (so agaknya Afham pun dh selesa pakai botol)

Emotionally not stable, lack of rest, first time handling a baby, and so on so forth…I think I give up to bf him. On my 44 days of confinement, Afham admitted to the hospital for antibiotic treatments (UTI) for a week.

Seminggu berkampung kat hospital pun stress since some medic students datangla wat survey ke hape dok tnya “anak bf ke FM?”. And I have to answer not once, not twice, but several times..pstu tnya mcm2 lagik kenapa tak bf, etc (I remembered one time husband politely inform one of them “dah penah jawab soklan cmni..xpyah tnya la ye”

Oh ya right before Afham admitted to the hospital I bought Medela FS (since I read a little bit info on relactation)..but bila dh kelam kabut masuk spital terus tak ingat nk charge ke hape.

After discharged, I quickly charge the FS, and for several weeks I started to pump every 2-3 hours, with a hope my milk supply will increased *masa tu susu pun mcm almost kering*. I tried few milk booster, take a pill (after talking to my gynea), think positive, try  to direct feed, pump with a schedule and I only managed to have like a spoon of milk *sobs sob sob*

So after that, I still not able to produce much milk. Keep stagnant a spoon of milk from each session. Dahle nk start keje *tepuk dahi sambil pk2 kalau g opis pam angin je, sure opismate dok tnya mana susu* Huhu..

Dgn berat hatinya, I decided to stop relactation, and feed Afham with FM. Bungkusla balik FS masuk dalam kotak. Perasaan? Sedih tak usah cakap

But I always keep to myself – There is always a second chance, if I do not fail now I might not learn anything.

Not too long after that, I am pregnant with Alif, while Afham around 7 months. Alhamdulillah I believe this is my second chance (although the pregnancy was close, but I always believe there is reason..perhaps Allah nak bagi peluang kan)

Since this second time, I decided to learn bf through books *mesti ada kata eik nk menyusu pun kena baca buku bagai*. This time I don’t read much bf info through the net…most of the time I will read buku bf..banyak gak borong buku bf ni. The good things when you read the books, it covers by chapter and by topics (while internet cam tak tersusun dan jugak maybe akan skip few things)..baca buku mmg explain satu2 covered topic by topic, which indirectly boost my confidence.

Some of the books that I have

(erm dah xingat dh berapa banyak buku bf beli..beratus gak spend 

- tp xpe claim income tax, ilmu tu kan xkan nk berkira)

I remembered that I saw in Pa & Ma (xingat bulan mana but for several months), our pics during the bf class..kira cam ruang iklan la promote kelas bf MLO..rasa cam sedih sgt sbb myself tak berjaya bf tp ada dlm gambar tu (huk huk even tho kecik tp cam terasa)

With second pregnancy, I had a better experience. Towards the end of second pregnancy, when I found out the gender was boy, I checked with Dr Hamidah whether my baby has Renal Pelvis Dilation (Sbbnya masa pregnant lg, Dr Hamidah detected ada RPD..which drag to UTI, antibiotic so on -  something common in baby boy). Dr Hamidah confirmed that my baby do not have this problem. (I tried to prepared myself if I will missed the first part of bf).

But there was another thing; second pregnancy was overdue 6 days. Dr Hamidah told me that I need to come on the day 6 of overdue for induce. Lagi teruk during the last check up Dr told me that the baby not engaged (she mentioned that it always possible engaged while in the labour room). Takut sgt masa tu sbb klu czer cmne la pulak nk bf baby.

But, Alhamdulillah bersalin normal and once I safely delivered Alif, I just busy asking nurses and doctor when I can bf my baby..haha dh xsesabar

A nurse help me to bf Alif, one hour after the delivery…cuak gak kot2la tak boleh.But surprisingly Alif just like a pro..not to mention my first time bf was almost 1 hour (hisap2 rilek..dh mcm ala2 mengempeng tau)

I remembered while in confinement, I also pump out my milk for Afham. Tiap2 hari dia minum 4- 8 oz (without he knew), tapi feed pakai botol la..lgpun sbb masa tu peti ais pun penuh..drpd membazir dan sakit sbb bengkak susu lebih baik feed Afham.

This time around, I would consider as better experience. Managed to bf him till 1 year 6 months (never bought FM, tapi adala sekali dua kot staff nursery bg FM sbb myself balik lambat dan xde stok susu kat nursery..). Sempatla stok susu meriah dlm peti, smpi upgrade peti ais…but till Ramadan 2012, dah start rasa cam cukup2 je. Stok beku terakhir diguna pada 18 Sept 2012.

Sempatla penuhkan freeze smpai kena upgrade peti ais

20/9/2011 masa tu kagum dgn diri sendiri hasil pam kat opis leh dapat camni !

Maka bermulala kais pagi makan pagi..cukup2 je. Then in Dec 2012, with workload, never ending sickness, etc my milk drop from 12 oz to 4 oz. I never tried power pumping so on, sbbnya bulan tu kejap2 demam, selsema, sakit badan so..keje plak banyak dan stress (even I thought I am pregnant, tapi bukan)

26 Dec 2012 till 14 May 2013, I only managed to supply 4oz, so he was on FM at nursery. While at home mmg direct feed la. Then 15 May 2013 onward minum FM kat nursery dank at rumah direct feed.

Till now he still bf, but I have a difficulty to wean off..penah la try tapi cam x success lagi. Skrg ni rasa paling payah sbb Alif suka ngempeng subuh (Can you imagine org sibuk2 nk g keje time tu le dia nk melekat..yg pelik hari keje je tau. End up myself xde la mekap2 pun time g keje). Kat rumah mmg try jugak buatkan susu formula, tapi ikut sukati dia nk minum dia minum tapi klu tak nak dia buat dhek..skrg lagila klu mlm2 dia request minum air masak..sesekali dia sendiri mintak nk susu..huhu

So for mom to be, gali ilmu sebanyak yg mungkin..understand how bf work, and so on.

For moms yg pernah fail, always remember that you can do better with the next children (as long as you are willing to be pregnant..klu dh stop kilang xdapatla nk tolong). Learn by mistakes..Insya Allah you can do it!

For those that looking for bf book I really recommend to have this (bukan tak nak suggest few books tapi takut kang org kata mahal etc). I bought this book since I since Iza The Pink Stilettos recommended here  - hehe so its not only her secret, but also mys secret too!! 

The Nursing Mother;s Companion ( I got a copy from Kinokuniya)